Roses & No Roses

“The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They are in each other all the time.”  ~ Rumi        

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Being the romantic that I am, I remember that specific Valentine’s day as I waited in excited anticipation for my sexy,  generous, spiritual, romantic husband to waltz in the door from work with his usual Valentine roses for me.

It was him all right…
but No roses!

You can know that my romantic expectations took a nosedive, along with my princess attitude.

and then… my TAKING IT PERSONALLY story showed up, “I’m not a priority or lovable enough.”

and then… my INSENSITIVE MEN story showed up, “They aren’t really there for me.”

Have you ever had a similar momentary disappointment that sparked those ‘poor me’ evil victim – judge stories in your head?

It doesn’t take much to go there when our mind carries expectations and makes up a story of how life and people are ‘supposed’ to show up to make ‘us’ happy. Disappointment is bound to arise.

It’s a known fact that Expectation SETS UP Disappointment!

In my experience, until we commit to Evicting our Victim and Firing our Judge, these stories and emotional dramas pop up quite often.

Until we get a grip on the fact that people do what they do according to what is in their reality – not because of us, our victim and martyr will torture us and create havoc in relationships.

Until we stop judging and projecting on to others our pictures of how we need them to be for us to be happy, the expectation > disappointment tango will go on and on.

Whether it is about romance and roses, or any other scenario of expectation we project onto others and onto life, our victim and judge keep us in hell and our relationships in turmoil. This is how we disconnect from our LOVE.

I’ve come to recognize LOVE and honor true values beyond my romantic attachment to receiving roses. (And I still love the sentiment) Everyday, I see that Doug offers the fragrance of roses. It shows up in his presence with me and his commitment to us. It shows up in his tenderness, fierceness and passion. As I recognize how much I respect his values, integrity and consistent endeavor to grow in love, the fragrance of roses fills our home.

The true substance of LOVE is right inside of us all the time. It shows up when we are generous, compassionate and honest with ourselves and others. LOVE touches us from many sources, forms and energies everyday…not just in roses.

So just to let you know…Doug and I got through that moment where I felt hurt and he felt stupid. We talked about how we felt, what was going on for us, and moved through that bump to enjoy a great evening together. One of the relationship strengths we’ve gotten good at is to ‘get off it’ and return to connection, sooner now than we used to.

Wherever you are this Valentine’s day, and whether you are alone or with a partner or friends…look to see the LOVE in all its forms. Beauty is one of the first places to recognize LOVE and beauty is everywhere.

So, it is Saturday morning as I write this, and guess what…yellow roses with red tips just showed up in our dining room. One day early – AND I really didn’t expect their arrival! I think we’ve both gained awareness of how our actions and reactions affect each other. We are always learning through each other.


In honor of this season, where Hallmark amps up the love vibration, I want you to know this:

I want to live in a world where Relationship 101 is taught in school, people respect one another and conscious loving is a way of life.

It breaks my heart when I see people who want to experience greater love and connection struggling and not knowing what to do to experience it.

I want you to experience the LOVE that you are and create the relationship you want.

So, I’ve created a plan to help you strengthen your love channels and refine the dynamics of relating in relationship. It’s for singles and couples who are ready to feel the joy that comes from conscious loving.

I invite you to join me for a 6-week telephone conference call series focused on:


Each week you will receive a teaching and exercises to practice. Plus…Q & A interaction at the end of each call.

Here is what is on tap for this series:

* Build Your Foundation for Intimacy

* Learn 8 Powerful Ways to Strengthen Connection

* Release the 3 Strongest Barriers to Loving

* Ignite your 5 Relationship Heart Powers

* Know & Express Your Specific Love Lingo

* SEX – Opening & Presence to Create Intimacy

This course Includes 6 Monday evenings over the course of 3 months. Class is at 6pm PST for 75 minutes.

Mondays:  March 7 & 21, April 4 & 11, May 2 & 16

Cost for all 6 classes is $170 per person or $230 per couple

Due to our website limitations, you can sign up for this course by emailing me at or calling me at 310-826-9020 to enroll. Instructions on payment and call in number will be sent to you.

I look forward to you joining me to increase your Conscious Loving in Relationship.


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