”There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.”
~ M. Scott Peck
Wow… is all I can say! I love you sparkling souls who showed up to play with us in Teotihuacan. As we met you at the airport, there was such a mix of excitement, curiosity and some trepidation. Who could know what these next 5 days would offer? Who could know about the great heart openings, intimate connections, depths of truth, and joyful play about to take place?
You each took a leap of faith, opened yourselves, and the spirit created the magic. Joe and Olivia, thank you for sharing your beautiful union on the Pyramid of the Sun with all of us. It was such a great celebration and…WE HAD FUN!
Muchas Gracias y Mucho Amor a Todo
Connection and Belonging Feed Your Soul
Amidst a world of stress-filled souls and rambunctious rebels who regularly shout ‘nay’ to life, it is essential to woo a tribe of positive souls to play with you. Otherwise, your life could feel like a desert, dried up from lack of nourishment.
Everyone has a basic need to be loved, cared about and part of someone’s life. By nature we yearn to experience a real sense of belonging. The animal kingdom is a great example of the innate need to play and commune with others. Elephants thrive in herds and follow each other over vast terrains. Dolphins frolic in pods. Connection is vital and integral to the natural flow of life.
One of the most loyal things we can do for ourselves is to nurture our relationships with people we trust and respect. People in our tribe may be dear friends, colleagues, or family. They are the ones who show up when we reach out and they stay loyal through the inevitable trials of life. They celebrate our special moments of joy and sit with us through the bitterest storms.
Who are your people?
Recognize who you allow in to your innermost hopes and dreams, your sorrows and struggles. When you melt down, spout off or act totally ridiculous, do you have people that still hang with you?
I believe it takes ferocious courage to create true loving relationships where you feel safe to share your inner most heart, struggles and joys. These relationships open you to your own vulnerability and you risk potential disappointment or heartbreak–this comes with the territory. However, if you hold yourself separate from meaningful relationship, you’ll miss the support and deep communion that true connection creates.
Lone Wolves & Orphaned Children Don’t Reach Out
Many people pride themselves on being independent. If you tend to be a do-it-yourself person, even when you really need help, you know that independence comes at a price. Some fierce independents fear the vulnerability that comes with reaching out.
“Will I be respected?” “Will I appear weak?” “Will I be taken advantage of?” “Will people say no?”
Shifting from operating as a lone wolf to creating relationships with mutual inter-dependence can be quite terrifying. Reaping the rewards of relationship involves taking a risk. As we reach out and ask for help, or give support, we establish a healthy response to life. We discover wisdom and worthiness.
Appreciating inter-dependence in relationships nourishes our true sense of connection. No one has all the answers, skills and necessary ingredients to meet every condition of life that comes our way. Giving and receiving support is enlivening. When we know who our people are and cultivate trusting relationships built on mutual respect, we experience inter-dependence as the entree of a rich life.
Keep Company with People Who Honor Who You Are:
You will feel more open and relaxed in their presence.
You will be inspired to dream and create with them.
You know they accept you, get you, and hear you.
You’ll feel alive and engaged.
You will be eager to reconnect with them.
Time to Let Go?
At times, most people have felt the downward spiral of a relationship. Instead of feeling our friend as the precious commodity they once were, we begin to feel we are following the beat of a different drummer. When we feel more drained than juiced, or increasingly annoyed or intolerant, it is most likely time to re-evaluate our connection. When people grow and change, relationships grow and change, or they complete. If you are putting up with the challenge of hanging on for old times sake and it is taking a toll on you, you might consider updating your address book. It is a loving action to bless the out-grown friendship you once had and then let go.
Make the Choice to Grow Your Tribe
You’ll have people to express your love to, and this grows your heart.
You’ll have people who respect you and this supports your self-esteem.
You’ll have people to hold you and it is here you can rest into yourself.
* Spend time with people who have habits and tendencies you would like to acquire. If you want to fully learn a language, you should live where that language is spoken. Where might you hang out to acquire a new language that builds your self-acceptance and self-respect?
* What things do you need support with? Who might have the answers, clarity or resources you need? If you choose to ask someone for support, refrain from making assumptions about how they might respond. Reach out and ask! Realize that you can’t take it personally if they say no. In time, you will know the strength that resides in risking the vulnerability of reaching out.
* Daily affirmation to Raise Your State: Ask not what my friends and family can do for me, ask how can I be an intentional blessing in their lives.
I hope you are blessed with rich connections this week.
“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” Thomas Merton