Be Right or Be Happy

“Being kind is much more valuable than being right,  for sometimes all a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.”  ~ Unknown Often, I work with couples where each person is genuinely interested in taking responsibility for their participation in creating discord or disconnection in relationships. They own their stuff! They recognize the value in growing and moving through their personal blocks to creating intimate connection. On occasion, couples don’t recognize how they contribute to the distance and discord they struggle with. Instead, they create a position about their partner who they see needs fixing. “he/she is the cause of all our problems and my unhappiness. If only, he/she would get it right, we would be fine.”
Read More

Lean Into Loving Women!

  The meeting of two personalities is like the contact with two chemical substances: if there is a reaction, both are transformed.” ~ C.G.  Jung If you are like me, most likely you’ve had a challenge or two in relationships. Maybe you tangled with a turkey or two and you didn’t quite know how to create that loving companionship your heart desired. Seriously though, while some relationships are a safe haven for growth and thriving, others struggle quite a bit. Defense and complaint can become a constant. Values clash and power struggles take over. Two people end up living side by side with a nagging unhappiness, yet deep down they yearn for greater play, connection and intimacy. If you and your turkey are loving your
Read More

Ride Your Inner Wind

“Notice the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.” ~ Bruce Lee I remember one of my teachers using the phrase ~  the winds are up. She was referring to a confused state of mind. The wind element within us is associated with mind, movement, power, air and space. Mastering an ability to be in right relationship with your inner wind is a practice that will Raise Your State. When you are in the natural flow of your inner wind, you have an ability to attach and detach, letting go and moving on to the next moment with ease. When you learn the skill ATTACH > DETACH you use your energy wisely, rather than waste
Read More

You CHOOSE!

“Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.” ~ Neil Gaiman I suspect you’ve tapped in to the tumultuous winds of upheaval in our country over the past few weeks. I know I have. The collective consciousness has been and still is stirred up in a palpable way. Reactions, strong opinions and feelings are heightened as our world is in turmoil and transition. Last weekend our Ojai women’s circle shared our responses to the election. The circle became a container for the different points of view and feelings that were expressed. There is power in holding heart space for all to arise-to be seen and heard. And, this is what we do in circle ~ We Listen! From my perspective, Listening is
Read More

Do you know a camel?

You miss intimate connection in your relationship…and you don’t know how to get it back. You reach out over and over again to a friend…who doesn’t reach out or have time for you. You have good ideas about how a family member should be running their life…but they don’t follow your directions. And…you can’t figure out why you feel the distance and disconnection. Relationships lose oxygen sometimes. Whether you have a relationship with a friend, lover, parent, sibling or child, it takes oxygen to nurture and sustain a relationship. When I say oxygen I don’t necessarily mean time and attention, although those are strong nutrients that every relationship needs in order to flourish. When I say Oxygen, I mean RESPECT Respect, as we typically define
Read More

Are You a Dream Master?

“The dreamtime, the creative matrix, does not exist in a place outside of us. Rather, it infuses all matter and energy, connecting every creature, every rock, every star, and every ray of light or bit of cosmic dust. The power to dream is the power to participate in creation itself.”    ~ Alberto Villoldo In the words of my teacher, Miguel Ruiz, ” A Dream Master creates a Masterpiece of Life.” I ask you, “If your life was a masterpiece, what would it look like, feel like, and be like?” Imagine for a moment that your life is already a masterpiece. An evolution happening to you, for you and within you! You are here as a spiritual being having a human experience. To free up from
Read More

Be Impeccable with your Energy

“Lingering, bottled-up anger never reveals the ‘true colors’ of an individual. It, on the contrary, becomes all mixed up, rotten, confused, forms a highly combustible, chemical compound then explodes as something foreign, something very different than one’s natural self.” ~ Criss Jami Maybe you have heard the saying ‘what goes up…must come down’.  The opposite is true as well. What we push down – true feelings, honest expression, needs and wants…will bring up our words and actions in convoluted and destructive ways. If you, or someone you are in relationship with, has a difficult time being honest with feelings, needs and wants; it may be that these withholds are adding a drag of resistance to your relationship. A woman recently confided to me that she had
Read More

Too Much + Too Much

“The best and safest thing is to keep a balance in your life, acknowledge the great powers around us and in us. If you can do that, and live that way, you are really a wise man.” ~  Euripides  Too Much This or Too Much That = Too Much I’ve decided it comes down to this: when I’m cranky, dull, tired, overloaded and not feelin the Love…it’s time to reflect! These alert signals tell me that I’m not operating on all cylinders and it’s time for me to pause and check in with me. I peer in to three areas of my life that, when in balance, open me to my internal flow. 1. Chop Wood ~ Carry Water 2. Satisfaction 3. Pleasure 1. CHOP
Read More

Take On the Light Side

“A lot of conflict you have in your life is simply because you are not living in alignment; you are not being true to yourself.” ~ Steve Maraboli Take on the Light Side of Selfish Are you trained to not be selfish? Do you experience pangs of guilt when you need to say “no” to your partner or friend, and “yes” to your personal needs? Have you ever abandoned your own needs in order to not be selfish and ended up feeling you went against yourself? (This is the conversation that showed up in all 4 of our Dream Pods last week. So this one is for you girls!) When you constantly put other people’s well-being and desires ahead of your own, this sets up
Read More

Perk Him Up Women!

“Love is the feminine polarity, not purpose and direction.” ~ David Deida Consider this: The masculine nature of man (DIRECTIONAL, CLEAR and ACTIVE) is attracted to the feminine essence of a woman (MAGNETIC, OPEN and RECEPTIVE) Women in Heterosexual Relationship ~ This one is for you! If you are feeling discouraged by a lack of connection in your primary relationship… If you are feeling unattractive or unattended to due to your partners lack of sexual interest or decreasing performance… If the fire and passion you once had is replaced by frustration, bickering and feeling stuck in the humdrums of your relationship… Fear not. Most of these issues are temporary and can be remedied. They are not permanent or hopeless. I’m here to offer you a
Read More