Our life force is our most precious commodity. As the keeper of our light, we hold the master switch. It is up to us to determine how we use, maintain, generate and direct our energy. With Love as our guide, we keep our life force burning brightly.
~ Victoria Allen
#2 Guideline to Raise Your State
Master Your Light Switch ~ Set Love-Inspired Boundaries
Every day our emotional and personal space is impacted, subtly, and often subconsciously, by the energy of people around us. We connect with these vibes in coffee shops, at work or over the phone. Even a person thinking about us affects our energy field, whether near or far.
- Emotions are contagious.
- Everything is connected.
- You teach people how to treat you.
- Self-love sets clear and healthy boundaries.
- Setting clear and healthy boundaries strengthens self-love.
Most of us have had an experience of feeling great until we meet someone carrying a remote dimmer switch in their pocket. We feel light and happy and then—Voila—we feel drained. What happened?Dimmer switches zap us everywhere. You’ll recognize them as people who use drama, fear, control, chronic complaint, and negativity as their version of relating. When your light is shining brightly and you are feeling good, they can turn down your beams in a heartbeat.At times everyone needs to blow off steam or have a little gripe fest. Fear creeps in and talking about it helps. Yet, people who chronically offer up negativity decrease the energy fields and vibrancy of everyone around them.
Emotions are contagious!
We’re all susceptible to people who hook our attention and interact with us in challenging ways. People with these tendencies are not bad people, yet their habits aggravate and dishearten. Have compassion for their plight, but don’t immerse yourself in their energies. When faced with these contagious habits, set clear, healthy boundaries. Be willing to speak up or walk away any time someone doesn’t respect you or your choices.
Loving boundaries are essential if you choose to Raise Your State.
Boundaries are your Yes’s and No’s that spell out what you are willing and not willing to accept or tolerate. Setting boundaries aborts passivity and the resentment that passivity builds.Self-respect increases when you let people know how to treat you and Not treat you. Rejecting abuse and negativity keeps your life force burning brightly. Love-inspired boundaries connect you with the wisdom and truth of your internal GPS.
“NO” is a complete sentence.” ~ Anne Lamott
As you infuse your life with love-inspired boundaries, you become masterful at meeting your needs. You stay in close touch with your feelings, body and heart. You seek out people who love and inspire you with their happiness.Without an ability to set boundaries you waffle, attack, acquiesce, shut down or manipulate to get results. These actions dim your light. You go against yourself.
Self-trust flourishes with love-inspired boundaries, because you take care of yourself wherever you are. You feel safe, comfortable and connected in your world. This broadening of self-trust opens you to new possibilities. You easily embrace the unknowns of life.
Self-trust deepens your capacity to create true intimacy.When you value yourself you send a message to others to value you as well. You teach people how to treat you, when you stand up for yourself, speak what is true for you and ask for what you need. These actions register inside as “I count”, and “I’m loveable and worthy.”
Boundaries don’t make you a bad friend or an unkind person. People may not be happy with you when you are clear and direct with them, but they will most likely respect you for it.Additionally, your Yes’s and your No’s will give people a much clearer view of how to move and play with you. The clarity of your boundaries teaches people how to dance with you without stepping on your toes.
AWARENESS IN ACTION
Master Your Light Switch—Set Love-Inspired Boundaries1.
Pay attention. Recognize the signals that you are moving out of your core and your light is dimming:
- Your mood dampens.
- You yawn as your energy drops.
- You feel agitated or impatient
- You stop listening, shut down and want to get away.
- You feel bad about yourself after you leave someone’s company.
2. Don’t align with people who go against you. Examples:
- A parent criticizes you ~ you judge yourself and feel shame.
- A friend becomes upset when you say no ~ you feel guilty.
- Your partner tells you what to do ~ you feel pressured and resentful.
- A sibling complains about you ~ you believe her and you suffer.
- A colleague gossips incessantly ~ you want to be a “good friend” and join in.
- You live with someone who is chronically angry ~ you blame yourself and feel depressed.
- A colleague chronically stresses about the bad conditions of the world ~ you take that on and worry consumes you.
- A friend is in chronic drama ~ you feel burdened.
3. Have Courage. Teach people how to treat you by speaking up; ask for what you want and need. Respect yourself enough to hold a line, even if other people don’t agree or like it. Denying your truth dims your light. Loyalty to yourself keeps your life force burning brightly.
4. “Count” in your world. Take your space and take your place. You’ve come to bless this world with your true essence, which is fueled by self-respect. You are the keeper of your life force; you hold the master switch. Why not turn up the light to become vibrant, courageous and loving?
5. Choose your tribe. Cherish relationships in which you can share yourself fully. Align with friends and family who foster your authenticity and offer compassion for your journey. Energy is contagious so why not choose to cozy up to those ever-evolving warriors who shine light for your growth. Bless yourself by choosing awesome company.Blessings to your Bright Light.