Relationship Rescue Remedy #2

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

 

I hope last week’s Relationship Rescue Remedy #1 ~
Everything begins with You tweaked your awareness.

Maybe you asked yourself “Am I taking care of me?” or “What is my self-care?” or “What is the energy I feed my relationships?”

Self-care is key to your own happiness and is directly related to how happy you are in relationship. If you aren’t lighting yourself up on a daily basis, the stress, neediness and discontent you carry is HOW you contribute to your relationships–all of them.

(These weeklies are oriented toward relationship with a partner, however they can also be applied to a friend, child or parent relationship)

                    Relationship Rescue Remedy #2
Commit to Love

Love is not the fleeting feelings that pass through you, nor is it the excited butterflies in your belly, the ideals you have, or a hot sexual turn on…
                            Love is Who you are!

When we commit to experience this great Love inside, we make a  choice and summon our courage to stay open, take the high road, express our heart and embrace our wholeness.

Of all the spiritual paths that illuminate our Love, the path of relationship is perhaps the most challenging.  When we Commit to Love in relationship we are thrown in to the fire of transformation. Relationship offers us a shiny mirror to see ourselves more clearly.

The relationship mirror is bright and illuminating. It shows us everything about ourselves.  It cracks our masks and brings us face to face with our dark and disowned selves. We see how we trust or don’t trust, how we respect or don’t respect. It shows us our values-where we focus our energy. Our safety strategies, meant to keep us safe and in control, come into light. The wounds we carry and all we don’t accept about ourselves arise for healing. Relationship also shows us how compassionate, patient and forgiving we are with others and ourselves.

When you Commit to Love, you commit to giving rise to Love every day and through every circumstance. When your unruly partner is having a temporary tantrum on a playground where you refuse to play, Love keeps you open and connected to you, while your partner dances out their crazy dance.

Love brings up everything unlike itself. Love illuminates our vulnerability and taps into those unconscious little voices that question:
“Am I  lovable as I am?”
“What if he or she finds out I’m not enough?”
“Will he leave me?”
“Will she trap me?”
“How can I not lose myself in this relationship?”

Actually, we do lose a part of ourselves in relationship.That part is our selfish ego that ‘wants what it wants’. It works hard, using all its safety strategies, to stay intact and safe.

When Love takes over, the ego faces mini-deaths and eventually is ground to dust. Love crushes us. Our neat, in control, got it together, independent identity is shaken as we merge with another. The judgment that arises out of fear eventually gives way to acceptance. On the other side of this crushing death is incredible intimacy and connectedness. This path is not for the fainthearted or those committed to staying safe.

Love is for the brave, sincere and willing.

Difficulties and incredible tests arise in every relationship and we sometimes scout out exit strategies. Power struggles occur-who gets their way? who surrenders?  When you Commit to Love you make the choice to go through your fears rather than be at the mercy of them. You hang with and resolve power struggles, learn from them and find harmony on the other side. Tough conversations arise allowing you to sort your truth and values. Ultimately, Love gives you more ground and connection.

If you choose to Commit to Love, you recognize there is One heart in your relationship and you hold that one heart as sacred. What you do to your partner’s heart you do to your own heart.

The hearts true wisdom speaks, “What can I offer into this relationship?” – “I am here to love and grow us.”

Love shows you how to: 

  • Rise above the small annoyances of your partner.
  • Look at what is ‘good’ and ‘working’ consistently.
  • Get off being right so you can be happy.
  • Take full responsibility for your side of things.
  • Employ FORGIVENESS as a necessary daily commitment.

When you allow Love to penetrate you, rather than uphold your safety strategies, you find relief and relaxation. You arrive in the depths of yourself where tension no longer tortures you. Your Brilliant Heart Powers  gain momentum and you feel the ease they create. You really do meet that Love inside and find the freedom and subtle joy in who you are.

When you Commit to Love through the path of relationship, you’ll come to know Love as the strongest power in the universe.

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