“Love is the feminine polarity, not purpose and direction.” ~ David Deida
The masculine nature of man
(DIRECTIONAL, CLEAR and ACTIVE)
is attracted to the feminine essence of a woman
(MAGNETIC, OPEN and RECEPTIVE)
Women in Heterosexual Relationship ~ This one is for you!
If you are feeling discouraged by a lack of connection in your primary relationship…
If you are feeling unattractive or unattended to due to your partners lack of sexual interest or decreasing performance…
If the fire and passion you once had is replaced by frustration, bickering and feeling stuck in the humdrums of your relationship…
Fear not. Most of these issues are temporary and can be remedied. They are not permanent or hopeless.
I’m here to offer you a peak into the power dynamic of the male/female dance.
While decreasing interest or sexual function can be related to health issues, often it is the result of misguided communication patterns and a lack of male/ female polarity in the relationship.
Great sex and connection are a function of energy polarity, where both the male and female nature communicate and are expressed. The male penetrating nature seeks a female receptive nature and the result is connection and chemistry.
In cavemen days, men went out into the world to be the hunters and protectors. And, women kept the home fires burning, taking care of the family. The roles were easily defined.
Today, most of us live a very different lifestyle. Women go into the world to become educated, earn a living and provide for themselves. They develop a strong male energy and value system – accomplishing, directing, leading and checking off their logistical to do list. This becomes a strong part of their nature. I certainly know about this too as I have a strong ability to interact and accomplish in the world.
While I’m all for the empowerment of women giving their gifts into the world, if a woman brings her strong male nature into relationship, she will find herself tangling with her man. And you’ll both be Unhappy!
Men this is for you: “Your woman will test you. This will never end. This is the secret. You will never get out of it. Finding a different woman won’t get you out of it. Neither will therapy, money or sexual mastery.” ~ David Deida
Suggested Reading for all:
The Way of the Superior Man by Deida.
A man can easily become confused as to where to stand in his strength and direction in the face of a woman’s male nature. He may pull back, lash out, feel ineffectual and ultimately be disinterested in coming close to his woman. This can be a problem.
If you know about this, read on…
My message today is for you women who desire to increase the polarity in your relationship by toning down your male when you are relating with your man.
Consider: Leaving your active, directional male nature at the doorstep when you take off your shoes. Don’t tell him what to do, don’t second guess his direction. Let him take the lead; trust and surrender. (Old fashion you say?? Well, some women cringe at the word surrender, especially surrender to his direction – AND it works. Surrender takes you into a higher radiant feminine state.) Your man will deepen into his masculine when you don’t undermine it with yours.
A recent poll asked women, “what are the 3 words a woman most wants to hear?” The answer was not “I love you”, instead it was “I’ve got this!” When I heard this, I took a big breath because it resonated all the way through me.
Consider: Bringing your radiant feminine energy that includes your heart, receptivity, beauty, openness, body and light to him. (Jewelry and ruffles are great but they won’t trump your true feminine essence.)
Consider: Expressing your vibrant sensual self. (Leave your mothering to your kids and your logistics and worry to your personal life.)
Imagine these little shifts giving space for your man to rise up and gain confidence to truly live his male nature > Present, Decisive, Directional and interested in contributing to you.
Here is an Intimacy Skill Tip for you to create greater connection and sexual juice in your relationship:
Be your whole vulnerable, irresistible woman self in the relationship.
Bring your heart – not your mind. His heart is your heart, how are you treating it?
Bring your spirit! This is your nature, to offer your radiant energy and the happiness you’ve generated into his life. (Only you can make you happy – no relationship will do that.)
Bring your body! Enjoy your natural god given shape and flaunt it. If you don’t love your skinny, heavy, aging, lumpy body, this is a turn off for men. A loving man is looking for your openness, not for perfection. And the masculine essence of a man wants the feminine essence of a woman: MAGNETIC, OPEN and RECEPTIVE.
Bring your vulnerability! It’s SEXY. It comes from being authentically you. Bring all parts of you into the relationship. The raw, insecure, less-than-perfect you. That tender, sensual, intuitive, receptive, confident, kick-ass woman in you will light most men up.
The stance, “I got it together”, “I’m independent”, “I don’t need anyone”, or “I hate my body”, is a turn off. The communication, “I don’t trust your judgment” or “You need fixing” is a direct line to deflating your man. You’ll wonder why he’s lost his vitality, presence and directional, penetrating male nature.
Your feminine nature has the power to change up any boring, stressful dance you may be dancing. Suddenly, you can bring the spice back and your man will perk up — did I just say that?
Well…yes I think so!
If this article has touched you in some way, I’d love to hear from you.
Have a fabulous week with your divine feminine.